Self-compassion--How can you give yourself a break?

Self-compassion is one of the most important things I have learned to integrate into my daily life.  It has helped me make it through my toughest days.  I feel that one of the most prominent things that I can now say to myself is that,  I have no regrets.  I give myself a break for any mistakes I have made, or continue to make.

Your perception is your reality.  But, what if you could learn to perceive things in a different light?  It then may be easier to give yourself a break.   Where have you have been, “getting in your own way”?  

Your perception is based on how you grew up, and what you’ve learned along the way.  We collect all we have learned, and that is the way we see things today.  It can be difficult to see things differently.  But, if you can make it a practice to see things differently, you can begin to believe differently, and then do things differently.

How do you, "step outside of yourself" to begin changing for your benefit?  Think of a thought that comes up for you often.  For example, “I shouldn't have done that!” That thought can be replaced by, “I am not perfect. It would be better if I did it differently next time.”  With practice, you can start on a path to believing your new thoughts, and start to see yourself in a new, happier, healthier light.  Over time, you'll notice how areas of your life are being affected.  You can have less feelings of anxiety or stress, less feelings of depression, less feelings of guilt or blaming yourself, less feeling alone, or less anger towards yourself.  In turn, you can have better relationships with others because the one with YOU is improving!

Be patient when learning something new.  It takes time to unlearn old thoughts that have been there a long time.  You can start this process by purposefully becoming more aware when you say something negative to yourself.  Maybe take some time to just notice when unhealthy thoughts happens for you, how you feel when you say them to yourself, and what may have caused you to think this thought.

Once you have been able to notice when these thoughts arise, start to, “STOP” yourself.  You can even think the word, “STOP”, or say it aloud.  Do whatever helps you to stop, take a breath, and begin replacing your old thought(s) with new ones.  Take your time to get this part down too.  Then maybe you can try it in other areas of your life, or with other thoughts you have. 

The goal for you is to become more compassionate with yourself in all areas of your life, but taking on one area at a time can feel less overwhelming.  Don’t forget to give yourself a break when you do not handle it perfectly.  You are not expected to be perfect—always remember that.    

Feel free to reach out to me while on this new path.  We are always “becoming”, or evolving.  This becoming part of a daily practice has more steps you can take along the way.

1.        Notice when negative thoughts happen.

2.        Begin to change your old thoughts into new ones.

3.       Give yourself a break when you do not do things perfectly.